World O’ Hurt

I read a post on my pal Cindy’s blog and it triggered some thoughts that I wanted to share. Specifically, besides wanting to draw attention to her kick ass WOD programming (the first half of the post), I wanted to tackle something that was merely an aside in the last quarter or so of the post, regarding practice and an analogy about running and runners.

We can beat the running analogy to death. I strongly believe that in all areas of life (I despise running, but since that was the analogy…) If we don’t learn new gaits or at least examine what we do or why we do it, we miss countless opportunities to learn new ways to do things, learn that some of the things we were doing were – at best – ineffective or – at worst – harmful

When we make this last strategy the one by which we life, we exist in a bubble of our own unjustified certainty in an ocean of knowledge, the pressure of outward ideas and research pressing in on us, causing us to press back with as much force, and in the process expending more energy than we would were we to merely open up and consider new ideas. This is called being willfully ignorant.

We should always try to be open minded and willing to consider new ideas, something completely different than being gullible and adopting every new idea that comes along. In fact, we owe it to ourselves to be that way. Even if we examine all these new gaits, weigh them, measure them, and find them wanting, we’ve still learned something, haven’t we? we’ve learned one or more ways not to gait. But what we haven’t learned is if our gait is the right one. That is why examination and growing is a constant, endless process. Not examining any new gaits means that we’ve not given ourselves a chance to get better.

As I’ve shown above, people DO learn new gaits and benefit from them. What are we to think of people who scoff at those who adopt new gaits, and blithely continue along with their old ones, even in the face of conflicting evidence? In many spheres of life, we call these people irrational, stubborn.

I’m not trying to say that practicing things that aren’t brand new is wrong, I feel the exact opposite (however, I DO believe that one reaches a point of diminishing returns from concentrating on old skills) My point is that it is misguided to demonize someone’s enthusiasm and desire to get better, misguided to discourage people from their search for effective and efficient ways to do so, and insulting to hold the opposite attitude as a virtue.

Thanks to Bryan for inspiring this post.

So you decided to do something completely new, and you made the decision to do it right! You crossed your t’s and dotted your lower-case j’s. You fulfilled due diligence, did  your internet research and got the best instructor and purchased top-dollar, top-quality equipment. Thanks to your winning strategy, the next few months of your life are going to be a dizzying spiral upwards into the stratosphere, marked by continual, measurable improvements in skill, right? Right?

Well, not necessarily.

Instructors are guides. We facilitate learning (and hopefully eventual mastery) of a subject by guiding you along a path invariably lined with pitfalls, dead-ends, false finishes, and false prophets. You see, we’ve fallen in those pits, followed those dead-end paths and false prophets, and arrogantly cried out “I’m finally finished” only to find out how humiliatingly wrong we were. We’ve done it all so you don’t have to. As instructors, we genuinely want you to be better than we are, and we’re there for you, to show you what to do and how to do it. After all, as we learned from the G.I. Joe cartoon, knowing is half the battle. However, the other part is far more important, and that is the doing.

Knowing at an intellectual, conceptual level what to do and what not to do, knowing the movements, the equipment and the vocabulary, all of that is well and good, but it is not the same as that knowledge being a part of who you are, as merely having that knowledge is not the same as experiencing its truth. The finger that points to the moon, as the old saying goes, is not the moon, and the map of the territory should not be confused with the territory itself. All of the accumulated knowledge from the classes we take and the research we do, it is merely the map to where we are going, and it is worthless if we do not use it to get there.

That requires work.

We instructors cannot perform that vital part of learning for our students. It is up to them to do the same move tens, hundreds, or thousands of times to make it second nature. It is up to them to find within themselves the hunger for improvement, the vision to see their potential, and the strength and determination to actualize it. Learning properly is a hard task, it’s not always fun (for an excellent treatment of this subject, see the amazing book “Talent is Overrated“) and it is up to each individual student to find their own motivation and dedication they’re willing to put forth to improve.

There is an old saw about writing that says that the author should open up a vein and bleed on the page. I think that is true about teaching as well. In order to be a successful instructor, we must convey our passion and love for the subject we’re teaching. In return, the most successful students must display that passion and love as well, and we instructors appreciate most those who unabashedly display that love openly. Detachment and cynicism have no place in the classroom, the gym, or the kwoon, in either student or instructor.

In the long run, we get out of anything exactly what we put into it. In martial arts, Crossfit, or anything, there are varying levels of skill, physical ability, sophistication, dedication, enthusiasm, drive involved for everybody. We have to expect a Gaussian distribution for each of those attributes for each student we teach. We instructors cannot control any of those things. All we can control is our own output, our manifestation of our enthusiasm for our art.

We instructors want nothing more than for the students to succeed, but the bulk of the battle is up to the individual student. I love nothing more than to teach a student who has boundless enthusiasm for learning, who constantly bugs me for details on this or that, or my view on how to get better. It’s running into these firebreathers that rewards an instructor the most. At the same time though, we have to be respectful of the people who may not desire perfection in this one particular thing that we do. Perhaps they have other true passions, about which they are the master and we are the neophyte. A different level of dedication on their part doesn’t make them bad, lazy, untalented; it makes them differently motivated, and we have to accommodate and respect that.

We absolutely cannot judge anyone for a perceived lack of effort, even if we know that they are capable of more than they are displaying. Instead, we have to look at it at worst as a problem to be solved. Part of our jobs as instructors is to help our students realize and actualize their potential. We cannot do that from a mental and emotional place of negativity.

When the student is ready, the teacher will appear, but we teachers also have to be ready.

I had an interesting conversation with a student in my class this evening, so much so that I decided to take the long way home on my motorcycle and reflect on it (a dangerous thing on a motorcycle!).

A newsletter by my martial arts instructor once described my Friday conditioning class as being for the “edge-seeking” students. Obviously took it as a serious compliment, as I feel that everyone should be seeking the edge of their current abilities, a necessary step if one is to leap past them! The problem for me for many years was finding out exactly how to find where one’s “edge” is.

I have taken a page from the Crossfit manual and for the past six months or so, directed my students to write down their times (on set goal workouts) or number of sets (on time goal workouts). My rationale for doing so was the same as for Crossfit itself; For the movements that we perform in conditioning class, we are moving a certain amount of weight, a certain distance, a certain amount of times, over a certain period of time. Doing this, we can obtain an objective measure of our power output over time (and get actual, albeit not 100% precise horsepower calculations if we take the proper measurements!)

Obviously, such a scheme is useful in the light of finding one’s edge; If one performs at their peak effort, and completes workout X in 10 minutes, and then three months later, performs the same workout in 8 minutes, then their ability to generate and output power over time has increased, objectively (with other factors held the same) and presumably, their health probably has as well.

The student to whom I referred above had failed to write numbers on the board for their time, and it had seemed to be a recurring theme, so I inquired as to why. Obviously my place is not to bully someone into doing it, but it has been such an excellent tool for progressing myself (and the class) that I was genuinely curious as to why someone would not want to utilize it as well!

Aside from the purely personal reasons (it is hard to argue with “what works for some people doesn’t work for others”. Its definitely a discussion ender!) the most interesting objection raised was that the numbers involved are not truly objective, which is most definitely true; My Friday class is certainly not a double-blind placebo-controlled study! Obviously, “time taken to X sets” or “X sets done in Y minutes” are each only a single axes on the workouts to which they are relevant. What about:

• Diet
• Personal Crisis
• Time of day
• Amount of sleep

The single figure that I look for is a crude aggregate for total performance. However, what it does measure, it measures well: power output over time. It is simply not meant to encapsulate other things.

It is certainly true that power output over time can be influenced by some of the other factors that I mentioned above, but over time, such things become statistical anomalies, not statistical rules. I always stress that my students should not take a single number with any weight, as we are running a marathon, not a sprint. We are looking for gradual increases over time, not to navel gaze and obsess over each week’s individual number. Indeed, it is certainly a failing of mine that I have not yet emphasized this. Other students may be scratching their heads wondering “why do we do that?”.

As I said to the student, the number on the board represents performance at a certain time under certain conditions. The number is a reflection of that performance. A fixation on getting lower numbers (time taken) and higher numbers (sets done) is certainly harmful. The number comes after the fact; during the workout, we should be focused on the workout, the movements, on becoming a better athlete, a better martial artist, a better person. The number is a checkpoint along that path.

Even if we do concentrate on the number and lowering it, is that so bad? There are a multitude of ways to improve that number, and consistently improve others, if that is indeed your quest:

• Stop smoking
• Eat healthier food
• Work out smarter
• Experiment with new and exciting exercises
• Recover properly
• Work on efficiency of movement

The number is, in a crude way, a snapshot of how you are in a certain way at a certain point in time. While lowering the number might not be a noble goal in of itself, many of the steps one can take to better the number most certainly are noble! As Pascal (I believe?) said about his famous wager in favor of converting to Christianity, even if you’re wrong about god existing, the things you would do to become a better Christian would make you a better person in general, and is that so bad?

There is, of course a more sinister side to improving one’s number, one of the better points brought up by the student. It is certainly possible to view the time/sets number as a goal to be consistently bettered at any cost. This point of view puts the number as the goal, and completely misses the forest for the trees. Someone like this may very well consciously compromise the correctness of their technique and form, to get things done more quickly. This, in my mind merely results in a corruption of the way martial artists are supposed to be. In the short run, such a person would receive ephemeral ego gratification. In the long run, it leads to merely being a fraud.

The Pollyanna in me wants to say that things such as martial arts would tend to not attract the type of person with the tendency to do that. Indeed, if my class is any example, this is true. There are certainly people with less natural range of motion than others, but everyone I see works out as hard as they can and busts their ass. I’m proud of them all!

However, I am still careful to explain the ideal movement standards for the various workouts before we begin, that way people know what is expected from them: their best! And it might be another failing of mine that I haven’t stressed that more.

The above point has been one reason that I did not introduce katas into my conditioning program earlier: Movement standards for katas are fuzzy at best, and it is indeed easy to compromise correctness in order to get a better time. When combined with a workout with more “objective” movement standards, however, this problem is amortized into nothingness over time.

Ultimately, our discussion boiled down to me saying that time taken/sets done was the standard that I had chosen to measure student progress, and the student basically saying that it was an unsuitable progress rubric. Agree to disagree, but one thing that I want to stress is that it is vital that some methodology for improvement and progress must be utilized; records of some sort must be kept in order for someone to say that they have made progress.

To me it doesn’t matter if a student goes home and writes in a diary about how they felt they did. Indeed from a life quality standpoint that may be even better (it amuses me to compare my journals from a few years ago to my newer ones). However, that is completely subjective and something that I cannot easily keep track of. I can keep track of only the things that I can observe, like the amount of time it takes students to do exercises.

As Daniel Gilbert laid out in Stumbling on Happiness, We humans are very bad at accurately recalling the past. We are liable to talk about the “good old days” where we were miserable, or “the hardest conditioning class ever” which may be cake compared to what one does now. That is why it is impossible to progress meaningfully or consistently without keeping accurate records of one’s performance. Sets done/time taken is just one that is stupendously easy for me to implement class-wide with minimal fuss and equipment.

The student brought up a few more interesting points. The first one being that they stressed just showing up to class and doing the best that they could at that exact point in time. I am absolutely in favor of everyone showing up and doing the best that the can. In fact, as I have stated numerous times, that’s all anyone ever has the right to ask of you. However, I do believe that without some form of record keeping, you have no frame of reference for your current actions. You have no idea if your current best is better or worse than yesterdays or last weeks or last year’s best.

It is possible (I have seen it in others and lived it myself) to live your life as a reverse teleology, convinced that every year is worse than the last, that you are doomed to a meaningless existence. But as soon as you start writing things down, figuring it out, looking at where you’ve been compared to where you are and where you’re going, you see that things have gotten better. It’s also possible to get worse.

We have to have a context for the world in which we act. Every day we go to class or work is an opportunity to do a little bit better than you did last time. If you know you did your best last time, and you know what you did, how you did it, and how you felt, or even how much time you took, maybe your best can be a little bit better today. For conditioning, that’s what the all-powerful number actually is. It’s the context in which you expended effort, and it can be compared to previous contexts. It’s a powerful tool.

The second point was in bringing up something that I wrote last week regarding another student’s objection to the format change in class, saying that the old way of counted sets worked better. This was an interesting argument; One man’s meat is another man’s poison, and all that. I did not actually have much of a response to this argument at the time (damn you! I hate being caught flat-footed!) but it did not sit well with me anyhow. After some reflection I figured out that while I do believe that it is true that not everyone will react positively on a personality level to the same set of standards or stimuli (I wish I could communicate the derision that I get over enforcing movement standards in the first place! It is a sore spot to me) I do believe that the methods are empirically proven to work irrespective of the person.

Simply put, if you do the work and follow the methodology and make a concerted effort to improve, the improvements are ripe for the picking, even if something inside of you screams for you not to do it. Indeed, that is probably a sign that it’s what you need the most. Taken from my own experience, I had a literally petrifying fear of putting myself out there and seizing opportunities to improve myself (indeed, this amounted to self-sabotage in many cases). I read a paragraph while back (incorrectly, as it seems) attributed to a speech by Nelson Mandela:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.’ We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we subconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Although an atheist, I agree with the spirit of what is written. We often put on a cynical face and dismiss things that would give us benefit for whatever reason. We would rather be ‘right’ than happy, it seems. Throughout my life, I learned that I could not trust my feelings of how to do things. They would inevitably steer me the wrong way, much like a pilot who has lost orientation, who believes he is guiding his aircraft correctly, but is instead steering it toward the ground. I had to learn to trust instruments instead, things I intellectually knew were accurate, but that my emotions and instincts screamed at me to ignore. Guess which were right?

To close, I want to put forth my feeling that those things which are measured and observed will improve, and those neglected will get worse. This stands for everything in my life I have tested it on, conditioning, driving, motorcycling, programming. Everything. So I pose the questions:

• If you do not believe the above (that observation facilitates improvement), what does facilitate improvement?
• What are valid ways to measure progress?
  • For an individual measuring him/herself
  • For an instructor observing students
• Should one even attempt to measure progress, or is it just too nebulous a term?
  • What if one defines exactly what one means by progress?
  • What are valid definitions for progress in the context of a conditioning program? The non-conditioning portion of a martial arts program?

All in all I’m always grateful when someone challenges my assumptions and makes me think about why I do things the way that I do them. I am not convinced that I do the best thing, and I haven’t and would never make that claim. I do make the claim that my methodology is effective, but I’m always ready to adopt another one that proves superior. Thanks for challenging me.

Now, the workouts:

Monday

For some reason, my shoulder was feeling better today. I decided to do this workout completely RX without scaling the HSPU. I did a good time, but could have gone better. I love deadlifts!!!!

“Diane”: 21-15-9 of:

• Deadlifts at 225lb
• Handstand Pushups

Done at 6:06 RX. I want to give a shoutout to Mike A who did this in a little over 3 minutes. He scaled the HSPU a bit but holy shit what an animal! I felt absolutely exhausted after this workout, in a good way (did I mention that I love deadlifts?), but like all short workouts, JDP had some followups. It was sprint work, that I seem to have blocked out of my memory it was so traumatic. I believe we went in three heats:

• 5 Burpees, 30m sprint, 30m sprint, 100m sprint, 5 burpees
• 30m sprint, 30m sprint, 5 burpees, 100m sprint, 5 burpees
• 5 burpees, 30m sprint, 30m sprint, 100m sprint, 5 burpees

Jesus, it looks even worse when I type it out. I sadly don’t remember my times, but I know that I was a little below a minute on the first heat, and a little above on the second two. My running gas tank is very very small. Room for improvement!

Wednesday

This was one of the hardest weeks in general I’ve ever enjoyed at Crossfit Central. I don’t know if it is me, or if the workouts were just targeted toward my weaknesses by chance, but I’ve felt absolutely drained every workout, yet filled with a sense of accomplishment as well. This was a workout that used a movement I’ve not done before, as well as a rep scheme I’ve not done before:

20-10 Reps:

• Burpee Box Jump
• Dumbbell Thruster @ 45lb

A Burpee box jump is a burpee, but you jump on a big ass box afterward. What kind of fucked up person thinks up this shit?? I actually made it a point of pride to do the burpee sets unbroken. The thrusters are what got me.

My time: 6:22 RX

Thursday

Holy shit. AMRAP 20 Minutes:

• 10 Kettlebell Snatch (each hand) at 16kg
• 10 Sprawl-to-Sumo-Deadlift-High-Pull
• 100m Run

It might have been the run. It might have been the CoG displacement, it might have been the alignment of the stars, but I almost ralphed again. This was seriously one of the most metabolically difficult workouts I’ve ever done I felt pushed to the breaking point immediately and it never stopped, but then again neither did I. I managed 7 rounds and 10+5 snatches. I did the snatch sets all unbroken, never switching arms. I didn’t rip, either, although I have a large blister on my hand.

Friday

Week two of my experiment. For reasons I detailed above, I decided on two workouts, one involving kata work. I am attempting to simulate the stress load found when students test by giving them a hard conditioning set first, then intermittently switching between a CoG displacement functional movement (CoG displacement figures heavily in katas)

For Time: 50-40-30-20-10

• Double-Under
• Sit-Up
• Push-Up

My time: 12 something. I expected faster, this was a VERY hard workout. Without the pushups, this is a Crossfit benchmark, one I could probably complete VERY quickly.

5 Rounds for Time:

• Kata x 2
• 10 Sprawl-to-Sumo-Deadlift-High-Pull

As I explained above, I want the students who are testing to have the opportunity to do their katas in an intense exhausting environment, and it would seem that I succeeded. I got positive reactions to this workout; Katas are an intellectual process which is one factor that has been missing from my class. I like how this is going but I am still not quite satisfied with my implementation. I let the students pick their own kata. I believe that part of the problem is the newness of the idea of integrating kata work with the other aspects of my Friday class. I really can’t wait to see how people start looking in a few months.

Everyone is doing just wonderfully in my Friday class. I’m very very proud of all my students for continually stepping up to the plate to meet the new challenges I throw at them, that are often not only of a different degree than they are used to, but of a different kind. Once or twice a year I really try and mix it up and innovate the class to point it in a new direction, to territory that has hitherto been uncharted to the students, and each and every time they rise up to meet the challenge.

The difficult part for me is thinking up new stuff after having taught the class for almost a decade! The fact that I can, and do it on a regular basis really underscores the amazing thing about doing something like Crossfit or Martial Arts (which I believe, by the way, are spiritually closely related) in that there is always a challenge, as I said above, of a wholly new kind, not merely of weight or time dimensionality. The runner may run faster or longer, but rarely does he encounter a challenge that requires him to learn new skills or move his body in an entirely new way. Day after day, week after week, month after month, and year after year, martial artists and Crossfitters do these things. We return to the well time and time again and always end up refreshed and reinvented, time and time again.

I try and log the workouts and keep track of results as much as possible, although it’s just in the last six months, after starting Crossfit, have I realized what a powerful catalyst it can be for positive change in a class or an individual. It’s easy to live life one day at a time, but this is how animals live, without thought or regard to the place from where they’ve come. If we know where we’ve been, chances are we better know where we are, and we better know where to go. Without the proper context, our present is not a reliable guide of where we should travel. Plus, it’s ever so satisfying to look at what once seemed impossibly difficult, and say “that’s easy”.

As an example of how much the class has evolved, let’s compare two classes two years apart, starting with March 30, 2007:

Tabatas (if you don’t know, Google it):

• Freestyle punches/kicks on focus mitts
• Situps with a 1-2 punch
• Mountain Climbers
• Push-ups
• Focus mitt work (second partner)

Ie Chin Chings:

• #13
• #14
• #15
• #16
• #6
• #7
• #5

This was an ‘Ie Chin Ching night’. This is not a bad workout, but it is fairly primitive. The class had not yet moved to the 90-minute format, and at this point I was not enforcing movement standards (a move for which I’ve received much derision. I can’t afford to care, as it is too important to let others’ squeamishness get in the way of what is objectively, verifiably correct.). Therefore, were the push-ups GOOD push-ups? who knows?

I am not keeping track of results or time at this point either, leaving the students with no context for their past actions. Were they getting better week after week? Who knows, as there was no empirical evidence either way. Therefore, what notion did I have about whether or not my class was effective at its objective? None.

The current paradigm shift in the class occurred on January 16, 2009, when I started keeping track of the workouts in earnest (in an orange Staples college-ruled notebook). From that point on, I believe that I hit on a baby bear “just right” formula. Let’s fast forward to two years after that 2007 class, to March 27, 2009:

“Kung-Fu Fight Gone Bad”:

With a partner/coach/cheering section. Three six-minute rounds, consisting of:

• 1″ Burpees
• 1″ Squats
• 1″ Sit-up
• 1″ Sumo-deadlift-high-pull (kettlebells of varying sizes)
• 1″ Push-Press
• 1″ Rest

There is no hiding the far greater sophistication in this workout, which takes 18 minutes, compared to 20 for the 2007 Tabata workout. Although I still use Tabatas a great deal, they no longer comprise the core of the class. In fact, I would argue that I am trying to not fall into the same ‘core workout repeated week after week slightly changed’ trap that I did in the 2007-2008 season of the class, a habit I got from the conditioning classes that I originally took part in as a student. In contrast to 2007, The workouts before and after this one were completely different.

The variety, equipment and range of motion of the workouts has increased as well. We concentrate on fundamental movements as much as possible, and we move more weight farther than ever before, and no longer concentrate on ‘filler’ or ‘peripheral workouts’ (at least when it’s avoidable. We can’t exactly do deadlifts!).

There is only so much that words can tell you about a workout.  A sterile description of what exercises we did that day cannot communicate the vast change in attitude that has occured over the past few years. The students now attack workouts, trying to beat their previous personal bests. They now never know what to expect when they get in the door (except a good workout), a phenomenon that I believe just enhances the workout. They now know exactly where they stand in comparison to where they stood before, a powerful motivator, because I keep track of them, because I care about each and every person in the class and their progress.

In some way, I’ve given even more responsibility to to students. Since I keep track of them, they know that there’s a number somewhere in that orange notebook that represents their ability on a given workout, and that next time that workout rolls around again, they have the obligation to try and beat it. It’s a uniquely human trait to have the drive to do this, and what I’ve taken from Crossfit is at least a nacent idea of how to tap into that need for improvement that seems to be one of the many sin qua non for being a martial artist.

Another reason to keep track of workouts is that we occasionally lose sight of things we have moved away from, but which held significant value. Looking at that class two years ago, I’m struck by the volume of Ie Chin Chings, terrific isometric bodyweight exercises, which are great tests of endurance, and more importantly, willpower. I’m not sure I would have realized that if I hadn’t logged that workout back in 2007, and I feel compelled to make a note to myself to do more of them in class.

I have encountered my share of negativity for teaching the way that I do, and I accept that doing something different often invites such criticism, chiefly among which states that what I’m doing doesn’t constitute “Kung-Fu”. To those who say such things, I could only reply that perhaps they should look up the meaning of the term 功夫 (gōngfu), a literal translation of which yields the term “human achievement”, an accomplishment reached by virtue of great effort.

By that standard then, what I do is the essence of kung-fu.

I do the best that I can to

set out in front of the students

achievable, incremental goals

so that through great effort

they can surpass their limits

and achieve difficult but

significant things.

As for you, naysayer, What have you done that’s kung-fu?

Not the culmination of a journey, but the beginning of one.

Knowledge as the Opportunity to Improve

The inconsistencies in my childhood ended up leading to one of the constants in my life, an island of stability in the chaos: I’ve always been a martial artist, and it does in fact form a major part of my self-identity, my vision of who I am as a person. Although I work for a large software company, I don’t see myself as a “computer programmer”. It is something I do, one more thread in my life’s tapestry.  That doesn’t, however, mean I don’t bring the peripheral skills of that job to bear in many other facets of my life. The skills and thought processes necessary to be a successful computer programmer are  as embedded in my DNA as bowing in doorways, or making a correct fist.

400lbs. Also not the culmination of a journey, but the beginning of what I now know I am capable of.

To me, the interconnectedness and universal application of knowledge have always been apparent to me; If you know a lot about something, chances are that at least some of the principles are applicable everywhere in life, if not the specifics.

My college career was as diverse as my childhood. My meandering through different majors led me to Computer Science, where, in a very theory-heavy program, I learned the intellectual rigor required for proofs and discrete mathematics.  It is this same intellectual rigor and training that I use to determinine my how best to train, and to methodically tackle problems I face while teaching, to chip away at students’ problems and barriers bit by bit.

It’s my natural inclination to use all of the tools at my disposal to increase my skill at doing what I love, teaching what I love, and being able to see a wider vista of the things that are possible. To limit my vision only to a subset of what I’ve been taught is impossible for me. It’s true to some extent that I’m always looking for “the next best thing”, and to improve on my current processes and abilities, not only for myself, but for the students that I teach, so that I can better help them reach their dreams and goals.

In some ways, failure is as important as success. It’s impossible to know if a road leads to a dead end unless one travels down it first. As the old saw goes, the worst that can happen is that you discover one more way to do things that just doesn’t work. We should all seek failure to some extent. It’s an important marker of where our barriers lie, and gives us the first inkling of a strategy to hurdle them. If we do not expand our horizons of knowledge though both new triumphs and crushing defeat, we don’t know what type of person we are now, much less the type of person we could possibly become.

For that reason, I’ve dedicated myself to trying all sorts of new things, particularly those in the physical and martial arts realm, areas of knowledge to which I am drawn like a moth to a flame. As I extinct inferior behavior, and hone my imperfect knowledge to an ever finer edge, I am irrevocably changed as a person, something that is always reflected in the way that I perform and the way that I teach.

I’m not perfect, I never will be perfect, and in many things I’m not even adequate. But I’m dedicated to never being complacent with that.

On Open Mindedness

We should always prepare to be wrong. In fact, to some extent we should hope for it. We shouldn’t look to be wrong about anything in particular, but we should accept that invariably, in some way, we are completely, undeniably, ego-crushingly, unequivocally, unambiguously wrong about SOMETHING, right now. We should seek it out, to some extent, an easy task if we are committed to studying things about which we are passionate.

Finding this chink in our armor represents an opportunity to see our knowledge fail us, and to correct ourselves to become better. We should always be ready to consider new ideas and how they impact us, and we should always be prepared to raise our heads, admit we were wrong, and do better henceforth.

The easiest thing in the world is to justify our current worldviews, to huddle in the warmth of our familiar notions and ideas, to concoct rationalizations for not accepting new data. It’s harmful. If we do this, we risk stagnating, stunting our personal growth, killing off countless opportunities for improvement and personal growth.

We should not automatically assume we’re wrong about everything. Nor should we adopt any new idea that comes along, with no critical though process in the way. We should always simply give contradicting ideas their fair time in our mental courthouse, before dismissing them out of hand.

On Talking Trash

I have often found that people are afraid of change and newness. It is threatening to one’s ego to be faced with an idea that challenges preconceived notions that may have been in place for years or even decades. As I stated above, we have some critical choices in these matters. We can either evaluate whatever the new information is, or we can choose to ignore it.

One way to justify ignoring something is to lower its status, to discredit it in ways that are not true or not relevant. Using these ad hominem attacks has a good amount of utility for the insecure. It lowers the challenging data’s status without having to risk evaluating it. It allows the challenging data to be the object of ridicule. No one would adopt something ridiculous. It raises therefore raises one’s own status such that the offending data is too low in importance to consider.

I have found that most who do this tend to do so in tightly-knit groups, with no dissenting voice. This phenomenon just makes it that much easier, as the group’s members take their respective potshots. Such echo chambers act as a feedback loop, such that the volume and intensity of attacks can continue without any interruption.

The sad part about this is that the considerable intellectual or emotional time it takes to attack new ideas could have been used to practice or get better, or hone the edge of the knowledge one already has. If you are talking trash, you’re not practicing and not getting better. You’re debasing yourself. You’re attacking others to feel better about yourself.

And you’re most definitely not improving.

As a side note, I’ve been guilty of this as well, on far too many topics to name. Lately though, I’ve tried to do a lot less of it, as it doesn’t help me, and most definitely hurts me. I guess I am sad to say that I have too much intimacy with this topic. I guess that’s why I can write with authority.

I fell off the blogging wagon again. I never really have had a lot of confidence in my ability to think up interesting things to write about, so instead, here’s some workouts and quick thoughts to fill up the space. Oh yeah, I guess I should get back on that food log too.

I’ve decided to cut some time wasters out of my life – Facebook, Twitter, IM – at least temporarily. It’s worked well for me when I’ve done it in the past. I accomplish more, and bad things that seem so immediate when I have information at my fingertips drastically reduce in importance. It’s almost magical. I can concentrate on myself and improving at things that I love and need, instead of frittering away time, reading things that concern me or that I obsess over, but are of no value to my life.

I saw the movie Up this weekend. It is a beautiful, multi-layered masterpiece. At it’s heart, I believe it is about letting go of things that weigh our lives down, that are no longer relevant to us. There is a scene in the movie where the main character jettisons from his house various flotsam and jetsam he has accumulated over his life, so that he can once again take to the skies.

I think all of our lives are a lot like that. We misplace our concerns and put so much value on things that are well past their sell-by date. I couldn’t help but feel very strongly connected in that way to Carl (the movie’s character). I become very strongly attached to people, friendships, relationships, and things that are no longer beneficial to me, merely because of how much prior emotional investment I’ve had in them. They are a comfort to me at the same time they are a consternation. Well, as we know, it’s easy to throw good money after bad in that way, and look up and years have passed.

There was a quote I read a while back. Now that I do a web search, I realize it’s apparently from a graphic designer named Milton Glaser:

…And the important thing that I can tell you is that there is a test to determine whether someone is toxic or nourishing in your relationship with them. Here is the test: You have spent some time with this person, either you have a drink or go for dinner or you go to a ball game. It doesn’t matter very much but at the end of that time you observe whether you are more energized or less energized. Whether you are tired or whether you are exhilarated. If you are more tired then you have been poisoned. If you have more energy you have been nourished. The test is almost infallible and I suggest that you use it for the rest of your life.

I decided to take that advice to heart, and really think about what energizes me and what drains me, and I’ve spent the last few days pondering this very subject, and agonizing over this thought and that. The sad fact of the matter is that there are quite a few draining influences in my life, and they’re mostly people.

I think that for me, the toxic people who Glaser refers to are energy vampires, the ones who greet my enthusiasm with a tempered scorn, or deflect what positive energy I can muster up with a frown, or some strategically placed skepticism. They would rather be “right” than happy, and revel in their misery, as though it makes them more virtuous. To try and share in their happiness is impossible, for they have little of their own. To try and help them find the happiness they deserve is impossible, it is like filling a sieve. It stays empty and exhausts the person who pours out their positive energy.

Due to some events in my life and childhood, I’ve always had a difficult time being positive. For the first time in my life (due to a combination of factors), I feel like those dark clouds are being blown away from my life by some fairly strong winds of change. It is by the sun shining – at last- through these clouds that I’ve come to see some of the people in my life under the light of the day. Their hard edges are accentuated by the light, not softened by shadows, and worse, they seem to squint and despise the same light that is finally washing over my life. These days, my friendliness is met with nods and head shakes, as if my words and concern merit not even words in return. My positive feelings and loving concern met with indifference, scorn, and a disrespectful brush-off. Apparently I don’t merit an explanation. Your contempt for me is manifest. Did you think I would put up with it? I’m sick of your shit, at long last.

A group of people who I once felt (ah, alright, still feel) close to have taken it upon themselves to start a pity-party circle jerk about me. Whispering about my dedication and my loyalty, but too cowardly to say it to my face. Are these the same people around whom I once felt invigorated? Now merely thinking about the bile coming out of their mouths just drains me. One good measure of a person is how resilient they are when faced with adversity and changing circumstances. I can recall a time when even one of those things would have crushed me and occupied my waking thoughts for days. Now I just feel sorry for them. I know that I deserve better, and I know that I am doing better right now. Maybe that’s why they’re angry. Perhaps they should get angry at themselves instead.

I have a lot to offer as a friend and a resource. I devote so much energy to finding out new and creative ways to do what I do more skillfully and efficiently. I love nothing more than to teach others and toss ideas back and forth. Unfortunately, some people have made it clear they want nothing to do with who I am becoming. Apparently they’d rather talk in high flying theoreticals about skill and practice and the way that things should be, instead of actually doing anything. Well. I’m sick of your shit.

But I can’t worry about what other people do and what other people say about me. I firmly believe that I deserve better, and I’m getting better. So why keep intimacy with those who poison me?

Now, on to the work outs!

Monday 05/25

A good one! 21-15-9 Reps:

• Row 500m
• Handstand Pushups

No, not 21-15-9 reps of Row 500m! It was four 500m rows: one to start, one between each HSPU round, and one to finish. I did well on this one, I think. 10:51 or so. I had my feet up on a squat rack for support, as my HSPU skills have declined since my shoulder injury. This was a great workout that was right up my alley!

Tuesday

Crossfit Spartan 300 Workout. Done with my pal Elliot at my kung-fu school. This was a brutal workout that would make a great WOD anytime. Five Rounds for Time:

• 20 Double-unders
• 10 Dumbbell Thrusters
• 10 Pull-ups

This was a beast. I’m a pro at double-unders, but this combination of movements makes everything hurt. I managed 9:47 or so with 30lb dumbbells.

Wednesday

Pure agony. Four rounds:

• 800m Run
• 15 Ring Dips
• 10 Burpees

Running is my mortal foe so far, although my times are improving. The ring dips I did with a dark blue band because of my shoulder, although just like the power clean workout, I tried to do them straight through with intensity (I did drop off once or twice!) Burpees, well those are burpees. I finished at about 23 minutes and some change, which impressed me. The runs are just brutal, especially under the hot May sun.

Thursday

A GREAT workout! I really dug this one to the max, as after so many running WODs, this one offered a brief respite. Although my power cleans aren’t great, I actually really like doing the movement. It’s almost like an ie chin ching for me, and it’s very technically challenging as well. My deadlifts remain my best and favorite lift. My pullups have been improving steadily over the last month as well.

AMRAP 20 Minutes:

• 5 Hang Power Cleans
• 10 Deadlifts
• 15 Pullups

I managed six rounds and two of the pullups on the seventh. This was a tough workout that was again, right up my alley. I had 85lb on the bar (up 10lb from my previous power clean best). The deadlifts were clean and smooth as I could do it, as I take pride in them (I can’t wait to blow away my previous best (370)). Pullups remain not my strong suit, but I’m sure working on them. I felt great after this workout!

Friday

Friday class time! I had a bright idea: Let’s do “Barbara”! Five Rounds for Time:

• 20 Pull-ups
• 30 Push-ups
• 40 Sit-ups
• 50 Squats

Horrible. I gave it a 30 minute cut off and still didn’t finish (I was on the last set of squats). I tried to do mostly pull-ups on the rings, but devolved to jumping pull-ups and ring rows more than a few times! Kudos to the finishers, You guys are warriors.

Monday, 06/01

A new month, a new benchmark. This month it’s Crossfit Total! The last time Total came around, it was just when I had hurt my shoulders, so I didn’t get to register a back squat, only a deadlift (370). My shoulder press was an experimental attempt at 95, so that was my official score. Well, this time I wanted to blow that out of the water. One Rep Max:

• Back Squat
• Shoulder Press

My five rep max on the Back Squat is 255 (I expect that to also go up), so I knew that my ORM would be significantly higher. I nailed attempts at 255, 275, and 285, and ended up at 295. Wow not bad!! I failed on a 305 attempt that I will most definitely conquer next time. I’m more than satisfied with my performance!

The shoulder press is another matter entirely. I’m not sure how this exercise can be so difficult, as conceptually, it’s not so bad! Just lift the weight over your head. Easy! Well, with locked knees and no inertia generation, no it ain’t so easy! I nailed attempts at 65 and 85, and BARELY got 95 over my head. The last attempt I nailed was a 115, and then failed on 125. Yikes. Still though, besting my previous injured best by 20lbs results in a thumbs up! Come on shouders, I’m pullin’ for you!

Tuesday

Spartan 300 Challenge Workout! I have a number of options, and I choose the one with double-unders! For Time:

50-40-30-20-10 reps of:

• Double-Unders
• Sit-Ups

I did this one in about 6:43 or so. I did this on my back porch and jumped in my pool immediately afterwards. By all indications of my health and happiness, this is how humans should live their lives! I didn’t feel incredibly exhausted afterwards. I think I left my abmat at my kung-fu school, so the sit-ups weren’t nearly as challenging as they usually are. So, I decided to do another workout. For Time:

50-40-30-20-10 reps of:

• Double-Unders
• Push-Ups

This gassed me utterly. I’m not sure if it was the push presses on Monday, but my arms had nothing in them. This workout took me about 16 minutes to complete. Although I feel could have done it much faster, the negative thoughts I outlined above kept intruding into my head and paralyzing me. I eventually shook it off and knocked off the workout, taking a nice refreshing cold shower afterward 300 Double-Unders, 150 Sit-Ups, 150 Push-Ups, in the bag!.

Wednesday

A great day. We finished up total today and had a little fun afterwards. One Rep Max:

• Deadlift

I made numerous attempts: 135, 225, 315 for a warm up, then hit the attempts in earnest. My previous best was 370, so I made my first attempt at that, and hit it fairly easily. My second attempt, 385 sent my previous PR out the window as well. Unfortunately, I dropped the bar instead of controlling it on the way down, voiding the attempt. I had one more. Mike A, My parter, and I stuck 395 on the bar, prompting a little good natured ridiculing from my coach. I sheepishly stuck a 2.5lb on each side to make it an even 400. My legs were shaking, but I made it all the way up and controlled it on the way down for a major PR! That brings my Total to 810. Not bad, and I will eventually join the milennium club…

We had a fun little work out afterward in the little remaining time. Taking 70% of our press PR (I put this at 70lb for myself, due to my shoulder), do 5 – 4 – 3 – 2 – 1 reps of:

• Back Squat
• Shoulder Press
• Deadlift

I finished this in 1:15. Not too shabby, and I lost count at one point so I think I repeated one of the sets. Overall a great day.

Thursday

A smoker! It took me 16:06 to finish seven rounds of:

• 200m Run
• 3 Push-Jerk
• 6 Pull-Ups
• 9 Push-Ups

Despite the running (hehe) I really loved this workout. It seemed to tax all my body’s systems and modalities and all the muscle groups. Weights, pulling, pushing, metcon, check, check, check and check! Now to just start upping the weight. My shoulder is telling me to do that gradually though.

Ah I forgot to mention: I got my first “real” muscle-up today! Truly a week of shattering barriers.

These spiritual window-shoppers,
who idly ask, ‘How much is that?’ Oh, I’m just looking.
They handle a hundred items and put them down,
shadows with no capital.

What is spent is love and two eyes wet with weeping.
But these walk into a shop,
and their whole lives pass suddenly in that moment,
in that shop.

Where did you go? “Nowhere.”
What did you have to eat? “Nothing much.”

Even if you don’t know what you want,
buy something, to be part of the exchanging flow.

Start a huge, foolish project,
like Noah.

It makes absolutely no difference
what people think of you.
Rumi, ‘We Are Three’, Mathnawi VI, 831-845

First, Thanks very much to Keith Norris for introducing me to Rumi. If you have time, please visit his blog and offer some positive thoughts for what he’s going through. He is an inspiration to me personally and an incredible help to whoever is trying to master the paleo/primal lifestyle.

I think that getting hurt might have been a blessing in disguise. The physical aspect of my life is so important to me, that it often overshadows other things that should be equally as important to me; my relationships, my education, my work. Hurting a joint as ubiquitous in all my physical activities as my shoulder really brought a lot of important things in my life to a screeching halt, to be continued by… What exactly?

I’m getting better (much, thanks for asking!) but I’m trying to keep fresh in my mind not being able to remember when I was well, without a hurt shoulder. It was pretty terrifying, to tell you the truth, the prospect of not bring able to do Crossfit again, not being able to to katas or spar correctly. Life seemed somehow emptier.

I am sort of proud to not be one of the “spiritual window shoppers” that Rumi alludes to in his poem, at least in the physical realm. When it comes to martial arts, Crossfit, and my other kinetic adventures, I try not to dabble. I try to put aside my cynicism and commit to something, put blood, sweat, and tears into succeeding. It means a lot of my self identity is bound up into seeing a return on that investment. It makes me proud when it does, and it makes me depressed when all that is yanked away, like a carpet from beneath my feet.

I discovered that in other things, I am indeed a spiritual window shopper in many of my personal and professional spheres, and it’s hurt me and other people about whom I care a great deal. I tend to linger at the periphery of things, and never put any skin in the game. It is amazing how polarized I am between my sports and other things in my life. It’s hard to imagine the things I could accomplish if I put the same energy towards those things that I do towards achieving new heights in Kung-Fu and Crossfit.

I’ve made the pledge to at least attempt to be that same positive person towards my friends, family and work as I do toward my sparring, lifting, and katas. I’ve been giving advice regarding nutrition, diet and exercise to several people. Although I’ve taken some flak from some people for doing this outside my pay grade, so to speak, everyone who I’ve talked with has shown at least some improvement, and I think their lives are better as a result. That makes me proud.

I think it’s important not to let time go idly by, window shopping through life. Sometimes it’s hard to commit to one of these metaphysical purchase, because every such one that you make reduces the number of options you have in the future. But if you never commit, you will always end up with nothing in the end. I want those days to be over for me.

I want to be a positive force in the lives of my friends and family. I think I can now that I’m starting to learn to be a positive force in my own.

I’m back to blogging again. Hello, it’s been a long time, I hope this blog post finds you well.

I suppose I fell off the blogging wagon at the same time I found it necessary to take some time off working out because of my shoulders. As I’ve always been a kinetic, physical person, this was tremendously difficult. I would often stare at the composition fields on this blog and find myself with little to say. I suppose you could say that I was a little depressed over my injuries, especially when compared to the progress I was making.

The past few weeks have seen remarkable progress in my healing, and I’m now back to regular Crossfit classes, as well as having done the 2009 Spartan 300 Challenge this past Saturday. I turned in the fastest Level 2 time (90lb bar, 12kg Kettlebell, and jumping pullups) at 14:44.

My goal was to take the knowledge that I could have at least been competitive (although probably not have finished in the 20 minute time limit) in the Level 1 competition (135lb bar, 16kg Kettlebell, Full kipping pullups), and channel it into doing the Level 2 workout as fast as possible, with as good form as possible. And, I did it fasted.

On to this week’s workouts (this post will be updated):

Monday:

Crossfit:

• 20 Squats, 1 Barbell Snatch (RX 135. I did 20lb to give my shoulders some TLC), 1 Suicide Run
• 20 Squats, 2 Snatches, 1 Suicide Run
• 20 Squats, 3 Snatches, 1 Suicide Run
• 20 Squats, 4 Snatches, 1 Suicide Run
• 20 Squats, 5 Snatches, 1 Suicide Run

My time: 8:44. This was a wicked workout. The suicide runs are strangely harder than running in one direction for the same distance. I haven’t figured out why.

Kung-Fu: Light sparring and some Kata work. I am beginning to figure out that katas work one’s body differently than anything else, and in a way that totally compliments Crossfit. Amazing.

Tuesday:

Crossfit 300 Workout:

• 50 Pull-ups/Reverse Pull-ups/Standing Rows
• 50 Burpees

I will change the pullups to jumping pullups on the rings. The burpees will be… Burpees. Time: 5:42. It’s hard to do good jumping pullups on rings because you can’t push down. This slows the recycle time significantly.

Wednesday

Crossfit Workout. Five Rounds for Time:

• 15 Back Squat. RX 155lb, I did 95lb. I will not make the mistake of doing too much, too soon again.
• 400m run.

My time: 17:21. I felt surprisingly solid on the back squats. I need more strength, but my form is acceptable to good, and I actually felt stronger the longer I went on this. The run was another story. I felt progressively weaker each run, and I’m sure it won’t get better as the summer gets hotter and hotter! One thing’s for sure though: I’m going to be in sick shape.

Thursday

Crossfit: Cindy. AMRAP 20 minutes of:

• 5 Pull-ups
• 10 Push-ups
• 15 Squats

I managed 12 rounds and 1 half-hearted pullup before time ran out. I felt it a little bit in my shoulder (so THAT’S what did it!) and will be taking it a little easy on the pullups for a few weeks.

Bottom line: I’m back.

Friday:

Crossfit 300 Workout. For Time, Four Rounds:

• 25 Air Squats
• 10 Vertical Jumps
• 15 Pushups

My time: 5:45. I felt slow because of Cindy yesterday, but still pretty good. I try and maintain excellent form and range of motion throughout. All my squat jumps were bottom-to-top. I know this costs me time but I consider technique to be more important, and am willing to not cut corners at the expense of time. That is a faustian bargain in my opinion.

My Kung-Fu Conditioning Class:

I made these guys do a scaled version of Cindy. I think that getting the Rings to hang from the ceiling rebar was a really great choice! I can’t let those guys rest on their laurels, you know! The arms race continues!

AMRAP 20 Minutes:

• 5 Pull-Ups
• 10 Push-Ups
• 15 Squats

I decided to give myself a little rest today. I did do 5-rep sets of ring pullups occasionally while running around and correcting everyone’s form, etc.

You heard me right! It’s time to take a little breather and regroup.

I am passionate about fitness and health, and have come to terms with the fact that my health is currently compromised! I’ve tried to avoid problem areas and concentrate on other things, but I think at best, I just haven’t been getting any MORE injured, and at worst I’ve been overtaxing my lower body.

As much as I love working out and as much as I love Crossfit, I have to admit defeat for a few weeks (Whereupon I’ll hop right back on the horse). I would rather be out for a few weeks and then be able to gradually ramp back up to 100% workouts than to operate at 50% and compromise myself for who knows how long.

I can already tell the difference with the extra rest I have been taking. The dull pain I had been feeling is mostly gone, and replaced with a localized tenderness. It still hurts to sleep on my shoulder. I am taking it day by day and hope to not be out too long (my dad’s estimate for 6-8 weeks seems a little long).

I have also had a little psoas difficulty, so even the mostly-lower-body workouts I’ve been confining myself to have been difficult (Today’s WOD is back squat, and I was tempted to go, but remembered the psoas!). I think this will be good for me though. I will be able to concentrate on skill development more (slow thoughtful movement is good!) as well as work my way up in weight more intelligently with greater emphasis on form and correctness when I come back.

I am also doing Triggerpoint Therapy and Wharton Active-Isolated stretching daily during my convalescence, in order to keep limber and healthy. I believe that my consistent usage of the Wharton method over the years is one of the reasons I have maintained excellent flexibility as well as good strength over my range of motions for a long time. Lately I have been letting the stretching fall by the wayside; I think it might be one reason behind some of the aches and injuries I have been suffering lately. Lesson Learned!

Since I am still dedicated to a healthy lifestyle and healthy eating, I don’t anticipate this setting me back too terribly far, but after all, life is a journey. I have the rest of my life to explore fitness, and it should be done right.

This is going to be a good week, I can feel it. I suffered a slight setback with my shoulder on Monday, but it actually feels a little stronger. It’s only a matter of time!

Monday

I hope my shoulder gets better soon, since my substitute workouts are harder than the actual ones!

Three Rounds for Time:

• 50lb Kettlebell Swing (1pd)
• 25 Goblet Squats (1 1/2pd)
• 500m Row

My Time: 24:48. JDP let me finish past the 20 minute cutoff. This was an incredibly difficult workout. I think it was much more metabolic than the prescribed workout. The Goblet squats hurt my shoulders a little bit, but didn’t set me back to square one. I will be more careful. They felt OK at first…

After Crossfit I taught class at Kung-Fu. Everyone is looking incredibly sharp and skilled. It’s always that way after a tournament/test. Everyone steps up to the plate, especially those people who tested!

Tuesday

Some Wharton-style active-isolated stretching, along with a test run of my new Elite Rings II at the Kung-Fu school! I did some body rows, and a few pushups, which did not do my shoulder any favors. The good news here is that I have provisional permission to put rings up in the school! I need to figure out a plan to have them accessible and easily moved out of the way/dismounted, as well as purchase them. This is a mid-term project that I will probably implement in August.

My shoulder is bugging me again. I need to just let it rest.

Wednesday

Crossfit day! JDP offered me up an incredibly shitty (in terms of absolutely destroying me) midline stablilization workout:

Five Rounds for Time:

• 15 Kettlebell Deadlifts (2pd each hand = 64kg = 141lb wow that is a lot of weight now that I calculate it out)
• 30 Hip Extensions on the GHD
• 30 AbMat Situps

My time: 18:4x. This was a motherfucker of a workout. Maybe even harder in some ways than the real WOD (5x(5 HSPU, 10PJ, 400mrun)). My hamstrings have been aching in a “you really really challenged yourself” way ever since (I’m writing this on Sat). It’s hard to explain how much I look forward to the Crossfit WODs, even though when I’m doing them, it feels like absolute hell. I am greedily awaiting my shoulder to return to normalcy, so I can do the great lifts again.

I had my second body composition done as well. You have to take these things with a grain of salt; things like hydration and fasting can really throw off the measurements, but it gives a good general feeling of progress. Anyway, my stats (calculated via scale weight, calipers, and tape measurement:

• 187lbs (+3)
• 8.0% Body Fat (-.5%)
• 4″ muscular gain circumference-wise across my body:
  • +.5″ each bicep
  • +1″ across shoulders
  • +.5″ waist
  • +.5″ each thigh
  • +.5″ chest

All-in-all a successful month; I can imagine what would have happened if I had been able to work out my upper body at all! Moving my shoulders, there is still a lot of clicking and popping, but the pain is less and less every day. I have to be careful though. I think I set myself back almost a week or so on Monday (Goblet squats are hard on the shoulders!).

Thursday-Sunday

I am going to give myself a rest for the rest of the week. I am also thinking about taking off Monday’s Crossfit as well. It is important for me to slide back a few squares on the fitness gameboard than risk chronic injury. I want to be 100%.